[fic] Autobot Angels

[dragoness_e]

[G1,TF:TM] A novella of the Autobot dead who did not go gently into that good night, nor rested quietly while their friends fought so desperately for Autobot City.

Autobot Angels

Multi-chaptered fic (11 chapters), but complete, done, finished! You won't be left hanging waiting for the end of an incomplete story. Thank you to beckyh2112 and ravynfyre for beta-reading! May you enjoy it!

I started writing this story over six months ago and it was a beast to finish; it kept developing weird structural problems that I had to sort out and fix. I learned a lot about recognizing issues with a longer story while writing it, though. I posted about my travails with it back when I first started:
Progress Report - first mentioned 6/5/2006
The joys of editing.. - structural problems 6/5/2006
More joy of editing - more structural problems 6/8/2006
Another fic ready for Beta... - boy was I premature! 6/11/2006
A meme I like - dropped a snippet from it as a WIP. 8/30/2006

Comments

[darkfire-blade.livejournal.com]

I just read the whole thing in one go and I have to say. Amazing job. This is definitely a great take on everything that was going on in Autobot City, and why in the world there weren't more causalties *especially with just one First Aid*. It's fun, in a way, to see our heroes as ghosts instead of just Starscream as shown in season 3 *though your Dead Mech Escape had much much fun with that*

Can I just say your fanfics make my day?

re

[dunmurderin.livejournal.com]

I told you on AIM what lines did it for me. They reminded me of a scene from Joel Rosenberg's Guardians of the Flame series in that they captured the same down to earth, we're doing this first because this is more important than the more personal thing we have the impulse to do first.

And I love that you kept Huffer as a complainer but didn't turn him into a wimp or a crybaby, particularly about ending up dead.

Very nicely realized vision of the effects of the battle outside Autobot City as well.

[apprentice-lurk.livejournal.com]

I read this all in one go as well, and really like it - the only thing that really stuck was that at the bottom of chapter seven, you have someone hoping that they don't die in a furball. X) I love the awkward question-dodging, as well as the really touching bits of interaction here and there. Blitzwing and 'Train's reactions were fun, as well as interesting... *grins*

[ravenclaw-devi.livejournal.com]

Wow, that's good! It's touching from the first chapter on.

I got two teensy little nitpicks, so let's get them out of the way first –

Raul had gotten out of the adjacent car--a beautifully restored vintage Ford Mustang--to chat with her. (ch. 9) – far as I know, his name is spelled 'Raoul'.

Also, I feel that Carly getting to be with Daniel in Chapter 11 opens up a plothole, considering what happened afterwards in the movie. I mean, it's great that she got to be there and comfort him and all, but if she was there, wouldn't she have insisted that he go home with her, rather than allowing the Autobots to take him with them? Much as she may have trusted the 'Bots, there's only so much a parent will allow, especially when she just had to fear losing her child.

That being said...

"Why is it that most Cons can't hit the broadside of a battleship to save their lives, but Starscream with Megatron in hand turns into Annie Oakley every slagging time?"

Love that line!

Hey, give me credit for some common sense!

This from the inventor who never learned the meaning of the words 'safety interlock'?

...and that made me smile.

In fact, the exchanges between Ratchet and Wheeljack gave me more than one chuckle.

And Bluestreak (in Ch.3) just made me go "awwww."

*chuckle* I think Blitzwing felt guilty about something.

Yea, scuffing up your paint with his feet.

And I loved that line too.

Oh, this is cute! I'm intangible and he's invisible.

That's cute indeed! :)

"You have to admit, only Starscream could not notice that he's chasing a guy that he killed not twelve hours ago."

I love that line as well. (Though technically, it was Scavvy who killed Prowl, but it's not like Blitzie would know that.)

An icy chill ran along Thundercracker's circuits. That only happened, he'd heard, when you were soon to join them.

Ahhhh, foreshadowing! ;) Devi likes. ("Likes" what you did with that line, that is, not poor Thundy getting trashed, much as I love Scourge.)

In fact, the whole ending of Ch. 7 is kinda eerie (I mean that as a compliment) and heart-wrenching, what with Skywarp and TC laughing and not knowing they're gonna die (get reformatted, whatever) all too soon. *sniffles*

pt. II

[ravenclaw-devi.livejournal.com]

Starscream wobbled slightly, his balance thrown off by the missing segment of the one foot.

Good on you for remembering that ("Ow, my...") foot!

"Well, if it isn't my old pal, Red Alert," Starscream laughed to himself

*snip*

"I don't know why, but Starscream switched to his null rays just for that shot on Red Alert."

I liked that too; but to know why, you'd need to be familiar with the works of Aosaki Keiko. ;)

I'm happy Red Alert survived, but it would have been nice if Starscream had decided to get whimsical when he was shooting at, oh, us.

*loved that bit as well*

Regarding ch. 9... I really like that you showed us the human side of the story (so to speak). I mean, of course Carly must've been worried to bits (to put it mildly), but the movie never showed us that part.

And yes, the Army would've done something, even if it was just securing a perimeter (as you had them do here, and which the movie also didn't show) – the human authorities wouldn't just ignore alien robots fighting an all-out battle that could lead to civilian casualties. So, good on you for putting that in.

Blitzwing, who had neatly dodged Prime's initial charge and subsequent fire, shifted to plane mode and darted after Thrust, catching the out-of-control red Seeker before he crashed.

Neat explanation for why Thrustie survived being rammed by Prime! (Well, apart from, "Coneheads are more robust than Flatheads.") Devi likes.

The end of Chapter 10 made me lose it. (Like you didn't expect that... ;) ) I got misty-eyed earlier, but that was when I bawled out loud.

Thus, [Blitzwing] dodged instead of taking Prime's shot through his... lasercore, as you call it. In that, you have done far better than you yet know.

Foreshadowing again? ;) (since Blitzie will still have a role to play during FFoD)

"I hope you'll help me come up with one, since you have to corroborate it. Starscream might ask the same embarrassing question." A very short while later, Blitzwing changed his mind as he watched the late Decepticon leader's ashes collapse into a heap. "Nope, I won't need to explain it to Starscream, either."

Starscream fans, forgive me, but that made me grin. Yay for black humour!

Bottom line... this was a great read – touching, even heart-wrenching in places, yet ultimately leaving one light-hearted tinged with sadness, rather than depressed. Well done!