It's a "Dead End" week...

[dragoness_e]

It's been one of those weeks where I seriously empathize with Dead End. I've been unaccountably depressed, stressed and prone to bursting into tears over the least little thing. And had to stay home sick from work yesterday. Still don't feel so good.

It's been a stretch of those last few days where I feel that everything I do is pointless, that I'm just wasting lifespan in a life that doesn't mean much to begin with. I've been writing a lot in the last few weeks, which means I should be happy, because I love writing, but I'm in one of those moods where I feel like my writing sucks, everyone else is way better than me, and no one will like what I've written so I might as well just toss it. I've got too many responsibilities that I haven't kept up on because I've been writing and working 8 hours a day, so that gets to me, too.

Right now, I suck, my writing sucks, life sucks, and I'll die in 40 years or so if I'm lucky.

Yeah, I can get into Dead End's headspace and write him--if I can stop being depressed long enough to type. How's that for irony?

Comments

[dualistic.livejournal.com]

believe me, I can relate. I'm working on my thesis right now, the deadline is in sight, I know I should be able to do it, but for some reason I can't focus enough to actually work on it. And you know what, it is exactly your fics that have been the highlights of my days, these stressful couple of weeks. (What can I say, I'm a sucker for angsty stuff ;))

so no, your writing does not suck, it really makes a difference, or at least to me it does. I like your characterisations, the humour that you manage to sneak in, it all works. And I am rather picky with what fanfics I like, I tend to ignore much of what is out there and focus on maybe 5 fanfic authors that I read because I know I'll like their stories, and now you are number 6 ;)

And 'meaning' is a construct, a meaningful life can be anything you want it to be, really. It can be as little or as big as you want it to be.

Advice I've been given is that taking note of the positive things that happen in a day, and writing those down for later reference really does work. Heh, of course I'm rather bad at following my own advice, but I notice that when I put effort in it, it does help me, and maybe it can help others as well ;)

And I've been reading your non-fic entries as well and it boggles me the things you've been through, how well you've coped when I'm not sure I could have. So kudos, and take care :)

*hugs*

[dragoness-e.livejournal.com]

*hugs back*

Thanks. And I'm not sure I'm coping all that well--some of this is a delayed reaction to my father's death and my mother's ill-health, I think. And the chaos Katrina brought to my life. Still, I'm getting insulation up, and someday I'll finish tearing out the moldy sheetrock and get it replaced...

[raisedbymoogles.livejournal.com]

*snugs you lots*